How to flout the lockdown rules in style — elite style! (Satire)

So everybody is up in arms just because some of our fearless leaders occasionally go for a test drive while the rest of us are sheltering in place, waiting to hear when a miracle vaccine will be made available to save us all from The Big, Bad Virus. While the journalists are pouting that this is not really the cricket spirit and just not right, the loophole specialists (lawyers, tax advisers….) are delighted to be able to add “testing your eyesight” to the list of essential errands that are unaffected by lockdown restrictions.